Proposals, Panic, and a Power Nap

Submitted by: Abdulafeez Bishi
Country: Nigeria

I may have smiled a billion times trying to recollect my experiences at university. There certainly were heartwarming times, a lot of them.

But, just as I was reminiscing, I suddenly felt a slight sense of worry, pain, and stress; I recalled a not-so-good experience. It was almost like I relived it.

It was a night in my third year of university. I remember very vividly how my thoughts were racing so fast, that night, out of worry. So fast that I could almost hear them screech as they drifted from one end to another; it was a few weeks to my exams, a few hours to a test, and a few minutes to my job’s deadline. And I was not even close to being prepared for any of them.

You may be thinking, “What job deadline?” Pardon me, let me introduce myself. My name is Abdulafeez Bishi, a soon-to-be graduate of Lagos State University, Nigeria and an Upwork freelancer. So yeah, it was the deadline for a job I got on Upwork. Also, if you are wondering, I studied Insurance at uni.

Let us go back to a few hours before that not-so-good night to make things clearer: when I received my special notification. The one I set to sound only when I received an Upwork message. I remember how that notification was a complete melody to my ears. See the thing is, back then, I was much newer to Upwork. I had submitted a ginormous amount of proposals to get a job but barely got any. So a message from Upwork was almost euphoric. “Finally!”, I thought to myself with so much excitement. 

I understood how much of an opportunity it was, so I followed up closely with the message. I discussed and negotiated with the potential client until we had an agreement. “Bing!” there it was, a high-value contract. The potential client trusted me with the job, so he sent me a contract and waited for me to accept it. I wasn’t going to miss such an opportunity, nobody should! So I accepted the contract with almost no hesitation. It was then that it dawned on me even more. It became even clearer to me how much of a responsibility I carried: I had to read for my test coming up the next day and prepare for my exams. In addition to this, I had to deliver a part of the contract I just secured in a few hours as it was our agreement. 

I realized I couldn’t achieve all this in the comfort of my hostel. So I packed my books and laptop and left. I left for a place designed for studying, the Learning Center. It was the best place I could think of. A sanctuary of knowledge and focus. The collective determination of fellow students gave me the motivation I needed.

I got there in no time, took out my books and laptop, and got to work. I kept working on the job, but not for long. See, there is this thing called writers’ block. It is quite popular among creative writers. It is when a writer just can’t come up with any reasonable content. And it is notorious for occurring exactly when a writer needs their skills the most. The job I had taken was writing-related, making me particularly vulnerable to this so called writers’ block. As you might have already guessed, I suddenly found myself trapped in the clutches of this creative paralysis and it lasted long enough to almost throw me off my feet.

“What? Now?”, I thought to myself. I had literally waited months for this and yet my body was responding with a block. “Impossible!” I thought. I remember looking around, trying to estimate what I had achieved. I had barely come up with any content for the job and had done nothing in preparation for my test, yet time wasn’t at all by my side. And there it went. It was at that point that my thoughts started racing heavily out of stress and worry. I couldn’t afford to fail this job, ever, it was my dream! And I dare not joke with my test. Immediately, I tried to take a nap in an attempt to clear out the block. 

I woke up a few minutes later, picked up my laptop, and gave it another try. I tried as much as I could to reassure myself of success, in an attempt to reduce my stress. It was a struggle back and forth. I would get very productive and creative one moment and just go blank the next. But after a few minutes, things started to flow much better… it all worked: the nap, the reassurance, and the consistency. 

It was a breath of fresh air! I kept writing until I was right on schedule and was able to deliver the required parts of the contract. As soon as I could do that, I picked up my book and went on a reading spree in preparation for my test. Everything I read stuck like I applied adhesive. Writing helps keep the mind clear. I felt proud of myself. I took another nap as soon as I read enough because it was already quite late.

In a few hours’ time, I was in my classroom, ready to take the test. I took it, and yes, I aced it! It really wasn’t a mission impossible.

It is true that we shouldn’t get overwhelmed because of our struggles, it almost doesn’t make sense to do so. The thing is, struggles are a “necessary evil” between people and their goals. And we all definitely want to achieve one thing or the other. We need to learn to live through struggles, and maybe even learn to enjoy them. Because many times, the bigger the gains the bigger the struggle.